In couples therapy, I use two of the most highly regarded, evidence-based approaches, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method Couples Therapy, and combine them to meet the unique needs of each couple I work with.
Couples that I work with report:
greater happiness and satisfaction in their relationship
deeper, more meaningful connection with their partner
improved communication and conflict management
My practice is inclusive of LGBTQ+ identifying people. I welcome couples and relationships of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures.
Most couples I work with want to work on one or more of the following:
emotional distance / lack of connection
healing past hurts
In addition to the above, I am also experienced in working with couples on other issues, including:
infidelity / betrayal
consensual non monogamy
verge of separation
major life transitions
premarital / prebaby counseling
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a popular, evidence-based approach to couples therapy based on the belief that underneath your fights with your partner is a desire to feel safe and secure in your relationship. Fights happen because we don't feel safe and connected.
EFT helps couples reduce conflict and end emotional distancing by helping each partner express their important feelings and needs that remain under the surface. Feeling connected to and loved by our partner is a primary need that we all share. When we fight with our partner that feeling of love and connection can disappear. For many of us, this can feel scary or overwhelming.
You can think of a fight like an iceberg; part of it is visible, but the vast majority lies underneath the surface, waiting to be discovered. The topic of the fight is like the tip of the iceberg–whereas underneath are the real issues: “Am I safe with you?” “Do you really love me?” “Will you stick around if we disagree?”
EFT also helps you recognize that if you don’t feel safe in your relationship, there are two main ways you will respond:
Pursuing/Attacking. You get angry, criticize, and raise your voice
Withdrawing. You get quiet, turn away, and give the cold shoulder.
Does this sound familiar? If pursuing or withdrawing is happening in your relationship, don’t be alarmed–it’s normal to deal with relationship tension in these ways. The key is to realize that you really want love and connection with your partner–and pursuing and withdrawing often don’t get you that.
EFT believes that the strategies of pursuing and withdrawing happen within a cycle. When things aren’t going well, we get stuck in these cycles with our partner. The first step is to identify and understand the cycle, and then to explore new and more fulfilling ways of navigating conflict and relating to each other.
Based on over 40 years of research and clinical practice, Gottman Method Couples Therapy helps couples to:
disarm conflicting verbal communication
increase intimacy, respect, and affection
remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy
create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.
Goal-oriented interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes which enhances the couples shared goals.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Prepare/Enrich is the global standard for assessing and enriching marriages and relationships. Appropriate for committed couples of all types, Prepare/Enrich is a customized couple assessment completed online that identifies a couple's strength and growth areas. Named the number one premarital and marriage assessment tool for over 35 years, it is one of the most widely used programs for premarital counseling and premarital education. Prepare/Enrich is also used for marriage counseling, marriage enrichment, and dating couples considering engagement.
You'll reach out via phone, text or email. I'll get back to you within 24hrs to set up a brief phone call. The purpose of the call is to learn a little about what's going on for you and to make sure we seem like a good match. If we are, we'll schedule a first session, usually within a week or two. If we're not, I'll help you find another therapist who is.
The first session is mainly about getting to know you better and gaining an understanding of the elements that might be contributing to your problem. This is also a time for you to feel me out as a therapist - Do you feel comfortable? Do you want to continue working together? Finding a therapist that's a good match is the most important part of therapy. If you'd like to continue working together, we'll look into scheduling regular appointments. If you don't feel like I'm the right fit for you, no problem - I'll help you find another therapist who is.
Depending on your needs and preferences, we'll meet regularly (typically weekly or biweekly). Using clinically proven methods, we'll work together to identify and meet your goals. Length of treatment varies from person to person and may be brief (just a few weeks) to longer-term (several months). We'll work together until you feel confident, comfortable and ready to end therapy.
Let’s Work Together
Get in touch so we can start working together.